Category: Essays

A Dog Story

Copy of raventhedogEverybody loves a dog story . . . right? Well here’s my latest one. It happened yesterday.

I arose from my reading and looked out the front window. The sun was beginning to brighten the hilltop across the narrow country lane and Raven, who was watching my every move, knew it was walk time. I knew she was about to go into her, ‘super dance for a walk,’ routine so I calmed her with a nose bump (pitbulls like that) and got things together for the walk outside to Max’s pen.

Every morning without fail, as soon as they see each other, both dogs break the silence by yelping and barking at one another when Raven attempts to play ‘attack’ with Max. It’s no big deal though, because there are no closeby neighbors. Anyways, once lined up and moving in a straight line things get quiet again and we are on our way down the middle of the lane for our daily trip to the head of the valley and back.

I generally spend my time daydreaming and looking for herbs alongside the road while the dogs try and see how many of those herbs they can pee on before I get to them. The lane itself winds gently through heavy woods and is always scattered with various animal scents, so along with herb hunting I spend my time cajoling, pleading, and pulling at the the dog’s leashes, one in each hand like a guy driving a mule team trying to keep the whole thing going in a straight line. One more big, strong dog and I will be skating on the soles of my boots.  

All is fine until I get about a half mile from the cabin when I begin to see a blood trail on the road. ‘Wow, someone must have hit a deer’, I thought at first. Then I glanced over at Max and saw that he was the guy bleeding . . . not just beeding . . .  HE WAS GUSHING BLOOD! . . . Bright red blood that was squirting from his front pad in a long thin stream.

I quickly went to my knees in the middle of the road and grabbed the foot in order to apply enough pressure to stop the bleed. As I did, Raven, probably thinking it was play time dove on Max and would not stop no matter how hard I tried or how hard I yelled. . . she went totally nuts when she smelled the blood that by this time was pooling around us. I had to stop her!  I HAD TO STOP THE BLEED! . . . I only had minutes until my beloved old Max would be dead. It was imperative that I react quickly and take charge of the situation, but how? I had absolutely nothing to work with. No phone (it’s on the table back home). No med kit ( in my room back home) No help (as there are few folks in this valley and only about ten cars a day go up this roadway).

First things first . . . I jerked Raven free, pulled her across the road and tied her leash to a tree. Went back to where Max by now was laying quietly in the road and grabbed his foot and applied pressure with one hand while taking off my boot with the other . . . I ripped out the string, tore off my sock and made up a tourniquet by wrapping the sock around the leg at the point where I thought the artery was and tied it tight with the shoe string. The arterial bleeding slowed to a trickle. In my favor, (and his) Max was very good during all this.

Back across the street, I went for Raven who was by now totally wrapped around the tree and choking on her special choke collar. Seeing the uselessness of trying to get the leash free I pulled my knife and cut it leaving just enough for me to grab hold of. Once free I began running back to the cabin with Raven in tow. My goal was to run the half mile back get Raven in the pen, get the pickup and drive back to Max and get him to the vet.

Now I’m 75 years old, and believe it or not that is a huge liability when it comes to doing stuff like this. Regardless, heart attack be damned . . . I’M SAVING THIS DOG’S LIFE! So off I go trotting up the road when I heard a vehicle slam on it’s brakes and slide in the gravel behind me. . . SHIT!! . . . Someone just hit my dog!

Looking back, I saw the red pickup of my neighbor who lives up the street coming towards me. Mike stopped, “What the hell’s going on? You need help?”

Yes! . . .Go back and get Max! . . . I need to get this damn dog (Raven ) into a pen and Max to the vet . . . she’s bleeding out if I don’t!

“OK . . . . take it easy man, your gonna have a heart attack, slow down! I’ll get Max and be right back.

Zoom . . . off he goes . . . Zoom . . . off I go. Just as I got to the house Mike pulled in with Max sitting in the bed of his truck. I gave him a hero’s welcome and a thousand thank you’s as I dove into the house, awaken my wife to call the vet, grabbed my med kit, fixed Max up proper by exchanging the sock for a pressure bandage, got him into my truck blood and all, (something good can be said about old pickups) and headed to the vet’s office.

The vet got squirted in the face and arm, but found and stitched the cut artery in time to save Max. Now he has a custom pen on my front porch where I feed him and doctor him until he gets better.

Moral of the story . . . you never know when a disaster will hit. Carry a med kit! I have enough first aid stuff for a whole platoon and yet when I needed it, it was tucked away in my bedroom and I had to rely on a dirty sock and a shoelace. You don’t need a large cumbersome pack, either. I’d suggest making your own and putting stuff in it that actually come in handy, a lot of junk you’ll never use is sold off in the pre-packaged kits. Maybe later on I will post a good small kit for a day hike or a chain sawing accident, etc. . . . . . . JW



A Hippy Thanksgiving

hippie thanksgivingWell here it is again for the 74th time. The kids who can make it will be coming down with their wives, a couple of friends from town are also coming, and the only neighbors we have may stop in later for a drink. All in all it will be fairly quiet and traditional. I know my pit bull will hate it because she will have to be caged up all day and I, being the loner, will endure and enjoy this holiday all at the same time.

Fact is, though I am totally content with my present life, things are not the same for me as they used to be back in the day when we were tip toeing through the tulips dreaming about making the world a better place. Back when the music never stopped, till the day it died . . . Bye, bye, Miss American Pie . . .

This morning I got to thinking about Thanksgiving and the best one I ever experienced, when it was and who I was with . . . that sort of thing. Following is the true story of the best Thanksgiving I ever had.

It was about 1969. I was living in a walk up crash pad in Portland, Oregon, just one more run away hippie looking for a spark of reality, and thinking I could find it by denouncing all that my parents generation stood for. I had just left the military and the following  short but bad marriage, and was hiding out from all the heavy emotion that went with them. Of course I was kidding myself as to the fact that I could actually do it.

It was Thanksgiving morning, and in my mind, I didn’t have anything to be thankful about. I was alone and depressed. As I walked through the old neighborhood I was more alone still as the usual hustle was not there. Even the drug dealers seemed to have taken the day off. I was walking, but going nowhere. . . . just walking.

There was a music store a few blocks down Burnside and I was heading in that direction, probably to stare into the window at the old Martin I would have given my last dollar for, had I actually had one.

As I walked along the empty street a Volkswagen van passed me by. It was full of freaks just like me. (in those days being a freak was cool) They pulled up in front of the music store and the guy behind the wheel who must have been the owner, unlocked the door, went in and came right back out again. He jumped in the van, turned around and came back in my direction.

The van stopped in front of me and a girl on the passenger side rolled down her window, smiled and asked, “Hey man where you going?”


“Wanna come to a party?”

“Sure” I said perking up a bit.

The van door slid open, “Hop in!” she said. I hopped in and away we went. Everybody in the van was in a very upbeat mood. “We’re having a far out dinner party for a bunch of people and you’re invited!” she said as she turned in her seat and faced me.

“Wow man, yeah man, thanks for stopping, that would be so cool.” I answered. The day that began as a huge bummer had suddenly become a life giving adventure because that little lady thought it would be cool to pick me up and take me to her party.

A couple minutes later we pulled up to one of the old Victorian homes that dotted the SW Portland neighborhoods at the time and parked. The van unloaded. We all walked up the concrete steps and entered the magical atmosphere of a house turned hippie haven.

There were couches, stuffed chairs, funky second hand furnishings, door beads, and brightly dressed people everywhere. Music played. People, laid back and relaxed, laughed effortlessly. ‘no canned laughter here’ What a lovely place to be. There were no introductions, no embarrassing ‘trying to say the right things,’ I merely walked into the large living room, found an empty place on the couch and sat down. The guy who was already sitting there said to me, “ Hey brother, how you doing?”

“Great man, just great.”

Using half sentences, chopped up wording and a lingo from Mars, off we went on a discussion encompassing so many variables that I can’t describe . . . ‘the kind of stuff people say when they are flaunting the norm and trying to be real I suppose.’

Anyways, we were talking away when a girl entered the living room from another room. She stopped close to us, pulled her long blond hair across her face and began to comb it. As I glanced up, all I could see was one gorgeous blue eye staring back at me. I was instantly attracted to her.

She must have just arrived because she was still wrapped in an old 30’s style fur coat that reached almost to the floor. She took the coat off, dropped it on the back of the couch and sat down beside me to complete the job of combing her hair.

Once finished, her face turned my way. “Hi,” she said. I don’t know what I said . . . the power in those bright blue eyes had tied up my tongue and caused my heart to bleed.

I quickly regained my composure and we talked. We laughed. We smoked a joint together. We shared our intimate details . . . all before dinner.

The girls soon called from the dining room and we all (about 25 of us) went in and sat around a huge rigged up concoction of tables and benches all loaded with food and closely spaced bottles of wine.

Nobody prayed or did any of the traditional stuff. Someone said something nice and we dug in. For a brief moment in time we became the kings and queens of the world enjoying the greatest feast many of us would ever remember having.

After we ate and were all stuffed and laying around like a pack of wolves who had just devoured a moose, the joints came out and passed around one more time. Many of us just passed out.

The blond ended up alongside me on a couch. We kissed and snuggled and fell asleep in each others arms. I don’t remember how or when I got back to my pad, but I do remember the blue eyed blond and the two month love fest we had following Thanksgiving Day.

But like all things in those days, our love was fast, furious, and burned out just as fast as it had started when she went to Hawaii and disappeared from my life forever. She was my angel and I loved her dearly and I will never forget . . . whats-her-name.

Ego-syntonic Conditioning


Since life began to form on this planet survival has been an absolute necessity. All living things have had to immediately come to grips with that reality or perish. Evolution of the species is, in large part, merely life choosing to adapt in order to guarantee it’s survival.Today in the US we face the greatest threat to our survival we have ever faced . . . and yet who can see the threat?

I have pondered this over and over and have finally come up with a reason as to why so many of us have given up our innate survival system and have chosen rather to follow the party line like a pack of sheep being led to the slaughter house instead.

We don’t question TOO much . . . .

We don’t break rank TOO far.

We fear everything, but the greatest fear we seem to have is standing out cold and alone crying into the wilderness like John the baptist . . . “ I’M TIRED OF THE LIES AND I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANY LONGER!”

We have fallen prey to what psychology calls: egosyntonic programming [Egosyntonic is a psychological term referring to behaviors, values, feelings that are in harmony with or acceptable to the needs and goals of the ego, or consistent with one’s ideal self-image.]

Imagine Germany in 1936 when the Nazi party was in full control of the country. Imagine viewing one of the old videos of the era as Adolph stood before the large masses of people with his hands on his hips as thousands raised their right arms in unison and shouted, “HEIL HITLER!!” What could possibly have had happened to all those people?

How much had they been able to overlook in order to become a part of this new National Socialism? How long did it take them to fall under the influence of this high talking psychopath?

I believe it was mainly because Adolph made them feel good, and special, and powerful. Master race? I think they were merely ignorant nobodies looking for easy glory after years of hard economic times in post WW1 Germany. I also believe they had given up their basic survival instincts in favor of Nazi egosyntonic programming.

Simply put . . . I believe they bought Adolph’s line of bullshit. Adolph excited their lust for power and control so they joined his brainwashed army of screaming idiots and followed him out of their normal life patterns and into the fiery pits of Hell, from which most never returned.

They were willing to submit to . . . to die for . . . a man who not too far in their past would have been just another crackpot in the park. They would have laughed at his antics and perhaps dropped a coin in the hat at the foot of his soapbox, but that would have been it. Had it been that way the earth would not have suffered such a horrifying blow, that’s for sure.

We in America are in the same condition today that the German citizen was in 1936. We are failing to heed our survival instincts because we have taken for granted the same stuff the common German citizen took for granted.

Those who have not fallen under the government/media/corporate ego syntonic spell and are actually questioning these strange happenings are being ostracized by our leaders as ‘conspiracy theorists’ and ‘buffoons in tin hats’.

We are not strong and virile like them. We are all pussies. They are all heroes. . . . BUT it is our kids who fight their wars and die for their business interests while they sit behind their posh desks and prognosticate upon the value of the stock market.

The majority of America has been compromised, and nothing reveals this to me more than the presidential race between Trump and Clinton and the aftermath of demonstrations and total lack of attention to the details of especially HRC. What made Hillary rise to Joan of Ark status anyway? Or Donald Trump also for that matter. These two were both bad news. And believe you me, if you can’t see that your instinct for survival has been compromised.

I don’t care how many degrees you have, how much money you have, the size of your boy toy, or anything else . . . you have been blinded by ego syntonic programming.



dreamlandThere are a few things that all men, rich or poor, black or white, aborigine or modern, have in common. They all have the mental capacity to dream . to imagine . to perceive . to project . and to promote all that dreaming as reality. That’s why we have problems with each other, we all think OUR version of reality is the one true reality. The others? . . . well they are dreamers.

Another thing we all have in common is the fact the we are locked into a universal system that demands movement. Nothing stands still, everything is either growing or decaying. Dreams without action will not work. We can imagine and hope and project and perceive all we want, but without action the fruits of idleness will only create decay and criminality.

We want something free? . . . nothing is free! Anything freely given without the need for hard work is probably going to either be a false religion or a diseased seed, if not immediately, then soon. High flying words are just that . . . in order to land they must be coaxed to the ground and watered and fed daily. That means in order to bear the fruit of your dreams YOU must work for your reality to become anything more than a shell of empty promises emanated from a Pied Piper leader looking to walk you over the cliff. (I could go on a huge rant here about American politics and religion but I will save you the agony)

What’s your dream? Everybody who has not been beaten down or brainwashed by the system he lives in has one. What do you need to do in order to fulfill it?

As a balance, in order to follow your dream you must be realistic in your goals. Otherwise you will spend your valuable youth chasing after someone else’s dream, be he/she a scholar, a movie star, a musician or a magician, it doesn’t matter. You will merely be living as a copycat who will never be as good as what you copied.

Why? It’s not yours. you are just fantasizing. Has anybody ever made Mozart’s music as good as Mozart himself? No, of course not. He may be good enough to copy and be almost equal to Mozart, but never will he surpass him. It’s impossible.

I fundamentally believe that each person born into this world has a gift of some sort programmed into his DNA and his goal, in order to be happy, is to find that gift and use it to the betterment of himself as well as his fellows.

The problem I see, at least in this country, is that in order to create anything of value you first must follow a learning curve of dedication, commitment, discipline and practice. (This applies to both inner as well as outer changes of all sorts.)  All that hard work seems to be out of vogue in this “hurry up I want it now!” society we live in.

As a practical matter we need to have a place of quiet solitude where we can meditate upon these questions and resolve them in our own minds before we even begin. Then we need to move forward and practice them. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, is a great example of a man who practised his dream and became that which he practiced.

In the midst of the Vietnam War while the Americans were bombing the hell out of his country, he and his organization were busily rebuilding bombed villages, setting up schools and medical clinics, and helping through non violent means all he could to alleviate the plight of his fellow citizens.

For doing that he was ultimately forced out of his country and banned from ever returning. Nothing stopped him however and he remains practicing peace to this day in Plum Village somewhere in France.

We in America have been taught wrongly all along the way. I’m 73 years old and when I now look back on my well fed life all I see are walls and wars. . . and it saddens me with something similar to ‘Survivors Guilt’ that I have lived in such privileged comfort in a world filled with starving children. I have taken the time to study and research as to why that is and I am embarrassed by the results I have discovered.

I can already hear the “love it or leave it crowd” . . . and I’m not judging it, just seeing things differently these days and saying it.

It is impossible to practice war in hopes of obtaining peace . . . practice hoarding in hopes of obtaining security . . . practice hate in hopes of obtaining love . . . practice dark politics in hopes of becoming a beacon of light. We have been taught wrongly.

Our country is built upon sand and collapsing around us as we speak. Corporate Capitalism is a naturally progressing ponzi scheme that was doomed from its very inception. The pyramid has become top heavy and lost its balance because all the money has risen to the top.This is an easily obtained, undeniable fact. Research it from anywhere except the corporate owned media and you will get your own picture of the state of the union. Obama was lying through his teeth when he stood before the world claiming otherwise.

 I no longer have hope for the two party system because they have morphed years ago into one corporate entity. Washington has become, especially since the last trade agreement, merely an arm of the New World Order. We must break clear of the Matrix and begin anew and this time practice what we preach. There is no other way. And in order for it to work we must individually start from the inside out  . . . and not come out until we are ready. The universe will shut us down if we don’t.

As is we have ALL been blinded by greed and consumerism . . . the ones in the streets demonstrating as well as those sitting smugly at home rejoicing. These are hard times, harder than most can understand. We have already hit the spiritual wall . . . the physical wall is dead ahead and we are gaining speed.



Dynamic Equilibrum

earth-unravellingWe are addicted to fossil fuel. In the boardrooms of big oil and coal everything else comes second to their profit margin. This is a fact few can deny. I honestly believe these corporations would willingly lay waste to the entire planet in order to suck the last drop of oil from her. . . just like an addict will lay his body to waste for that final fix.

In today’s world, we are encompassed by a vast amount of negativity. So much so that it is difficult for one to keep his head above water, BUT there are also great things in the works. Intelligent ideas containing the power to make a difference for all of us are on the rise.

It’s only a matter of time until the fossil fuel industry runs out of product. Everybody knows this but them, and yet . . . the beat goes on.

How do these ‘drill baby drill’ guys answer the cry from those of us concerned for the well-being of our planet? They say, “you guys are tree hugging wacko’s . . . everything’s fine, this depletion stuff is all just liberal inspired bullshit . . . after all God gave us this earth to subdue, right?”

On and on the argument goes. Remember how long it took the cigarette corporations to even hint that smoking may be bad for your health? The frackers have far more rocks to hide under than the tobacco boys ever did.

The question for today is, “How can we continue this course of existing on fossil fuels and NOT at some date in the near future run out of product? We can’t, it is physically impossible regardless of how the fossil fuel industries promote their agenda.

BUT there is another side to the story. One that has THINKING people working hard to find a way towards putting this cess pool of greed out of business and yet maintain our (pared down, but pleasing) lifestyle. People like the guy who made this video.

I can’t say I agree with all of it, but I doubt that is necessary. The foundation he is creating is sure to be the one taken after this current system falls apart . . . at least I hope so.

If we fail as a people to adapt and the planet drives us to extinction because of our ignorance, if it takes our planet a zillion years to recoup from our abuse. I hope next time we get it right . . . and if we do I believe it will take place somewhat along these lines . . .

Free Thinking

george-carlin-on-teaching-your-children-to-question-everythingThe current political scene has me wondering if there are any free thinkers left in this country. My belief is that the conformist viewpoint has become a virus in our once open and questioning society and we are much the worse for it. Political correctness and fear of questioning the status quo has created a nation of obedient sheeple who have forgotten how to stand alone upon their beliefs and think for themselves. 

As of today (memorial day 2016) we are taking a new twist and dedicating this blog to the art of ‘free thought’. . . not just in the religious or political sense, but across the entire gamut of human intelligence.

My plan is to open the Sound Off page to contributing writers. If you want to join us let me know. The only rule is to be serious, use your own critical thought and, because your writing will also be posted on Facebook and Twitter, please keep cursing to a minimum.




Rape Culture Awareness



Alexandria Codispoti

We live in a rape culture. What took place three years ago in Steubenville, Ohio is a prime example of what rape culture actually is.

A teenage girl was at a house party in which she was drunk to the point of unconsciousness. Two football players took advantage of her vulnerable state and non-consensually performed sexual acts on her. Not only did they rape her, but they dragged her naked body from party to party and urinated on her.

While all of this was going on, other football players and friends took the liberty of uploading pictures and videos to social media depicting the unspeakable acts that were occurring.

The case became headline news only because the town cried for the justice of the football players who were encouraged to delete evidence and anything else that could be incriminating towards them. The girl was also viciously attacked online and blamed for the rape because of her drunken state.

There were many witnesses to what happened that night, but instead of stepping in to save the girl or call the police they took videos and laughed about it. The Steubenville case is only one of the many rape cases out there proving that we live in a society where rape is acceptable and justifiable.

According to a study done by the University of North Dakota, one in three men would rape if they knew they could get away with it. 73 men were surveyed, and 31.7% of these men did not associate forcible sex with rape. They made disconcerting comments saying that forcing a woman to have sex with them was completely different than rape.

What does that say about society? Are we raising a generation of ignorance where men are actually led to believe that rape is acceptable, as long as he doesn’t consider it ‘rape’?

In general, we don’t hold men accountable for their actions. Instead during rape cases we say, “She must have been provoking him” or “What was she wearing?” as if to say “Was she asking for it?” “Did she deserve to be raped because of her outfit?”

What we should be asking is “What made him think this was acceptable?” Countless rape cases have been acquitted due to the thought that it was the victim’s fault.

Just a few months ago at Stanford University, Brock Turner raped an unconscious woman outside of a fraternity house behind a dumpster. He was sentenced to a short sixth months in jail, and released after only three months. Like the Steubenville boys, Brock was protected because of his social status and athletic potential. Ninety seven percent of  rapists will never spend a night in jail (Marshall University).

Rape is never the victim’s fault, no matter what their actions were beforehand. We need to put blame where it is due instead of making excuses for the perpetrators. Through billboards, magazines, music videos and the thousands of advertisements that we are bombarded with every day, women are depicted as sexual objects. When we see this, we are led to believe that women are not only inferior to men, but only exist to provide sexual gratification for them.

When we believe that women only exist for the pleasure of men, they are seen as objects, not as human beings. As she is objectified, she is dehumanized, which is another leading cause of rape because you have feelings for the “object” rather than a human being. As a society, we are constantly dehumanizing everything about women except the idealized body.

There are many things that we need to do to combat rape culture. Instead of teaching women how to defend themselves from rape, we need to teach men not to rape. We need to teach them that rape is never okay or acceptable and that they will be held accountable for their actions.

Hypermasculinity, is a societal problem that requires more attention. From a young age, men are programmed to be aggressive and dominant. Young boys learn that they need to be big, strong and powerful to be considered ‘manly’. They are taught that physical conquest is the most important thing and they need to dominate and overpower things.

With this thought  in mind, men like to overpower women with rape, which is one of it’s leading causes. Research shows that most rapes are exercises of power or anger. We need to teach men that it’s okay not to be hyper-masculine and aggressive and that they don’t have to live up to the “manly” stereotypes.

Not to be gender-biased, but 93% of rapists are male (Everyday Feminism), but men get raped too. We need to take men more seriously when they come out with their stories, because as of right now, we think that they can handle it because they are a “man”. This is completely false, and rape is just as serious of a problem for men as it is for women.

“Rape culture only exists because we don’t believe it does” (Women’s Center) Instead of taking steps to solve this issue, we make excuses and deny one of the most prevalent issues in our society. If we really want to address pertinent social issues, we have to take steps to lessen the stranglehold that rape culture has on us. We are the reason that rape culture still exists, therefore we can all do something to positively change it.


I Saw A UFO!

Ocean Isle Beach North Carolina, July 2016:

My daughter and I were out at night sitting on the beach observing the beauty of a full moon. Suddenly to the right of the moon at about 5:00 there appeared in the brightly lit sky three large orange orbs side by side. They sat there for a moment or two and kinda moved back and forth a bit before one blinked out . . . then another . . . then the other. One came back on and discharged a whole bunch (maybe 20) of smaller, white starry like dots which proceeded to dance around and slowly move off heading for Florida. The two of us sat there mesmerized by what just took place. Continue reading

My Old Friends

myoldfriendsIt seems I do more of it in the winter, but regardless, as I get older I spend a lot of time day dreaming. I usually wake up about 5 am, make coffee and, being retired and having no place to go, sit in my chair in the dark drinking my coffee and dreaming about the past. A rather pleasant time, I might add.

Now I have been to a lot of places and done a lot of things, but the things and places have become mere backdrops, places to hold the faces and memories of the many people I have known and the friends I have made over the last 72 years that I have lived on this planet.

As I begin to think on a place and time the faces are soon to follow. These faces pop into my mind like a worn out jack-in-the-box. Crank the handle and up pops Joey Sirgo or Gunner Thompson, or Tommy One Nut, Pissball Pete or just plain Joe . . . . . (It’s amazing how many of these guys have slang names and how often that’s the only one I can remember.)

Then the fun begins as I sit and reminisce with these guys over all the exciting times we had together . . . and a few of the sad ones. Seems the good and the funny always float to the top first though. I have to dig a bit to get to the bad, so as I hate shoveling I mostly leave that part alone.

To all the girls I’ve loved before. I remember your eyes, the lift of your breasts and the swing of your hips, but my Band of Brothers meant far more to me than trying to figure you out ever did. You ladies have a special room in my heart, but not this one. This room is filled with bar girls, one night stands, and short time hookers.

The “old boys club” door is locked to the finer female. You wouldn’t like it in here anyways cause the room stinks of old cigar smoke, cordite, and bull shit and the floor is littered with trampled peanut shells, dried blood and dog hair. A place only one of my old friends could love.

I always figured when I got old I would be sitting in the park with the rest of the old goats like they did when I was a kid. Maybe the old project crowd still do that, I don’t know because I lost contact with them at 15 when I had to move.

Today I live a life of seclusion. I spend my days reading, or goofing on my computer or driving my wife crazy, but rarely if ever do I spend time with friends, cause although spread out over half the world, they are not here.

Once I was in a Portland City jail cell with the walls covered in graffiti. I found an empty spot and wrote my own little tale of woe, “I’ve been alone since birth, I’ll remain alone till death, then I’ll have a friend”. Kind of a downer, but how else would you feel being stuck in a two man cell with a guy coming down off heroin?

I do hope that quickly thought verse will prove itself to be true though cause I’m getting closer to D day each time I go to sleep at night and it would be really cool to wake up on the other side and see a large table of my friends gathered around it to greet me. (and my many favorite dogs lying under it)

Jesus and God would have to wait for a while then because first thing I want to do is drink some good Old Crow and hang out with the guys again for a season . . . or two.

I think Robert Service said it all about guys like us. Guys our women just can’t quite understand:

The Men Who Don’t Fit In

There’s a race of men that don’t fit in,
A race that can’t stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.

They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain’s crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don’t know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they’re always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.

They say: “Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!”
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It’s the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.

And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that’s dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life’s been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.

Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He’s a rolling stone, and it’s bred in the bone;
He’s a man who won’t fit in.

But . . . those of us who have walked this path would have it no other way.

Smart Plants . . . Or Humans Just Too Dumb To Realize It?

Hidden under your feet is an information superhighway that allows plants to communicate and help each other out. It’s made of fungi… It’s an information superhighway that speeds up interactions between a large, diverse population of individuals. It allows individuals who may be widely separated to communicate and help each other out. But it also…

via Plants Talk To Each Other Using An Internet Of Fungus — Awaken

You are not weak, powerless or brittle . . . You are powerful beyond comprehension.

Quantum physics is the new physics that is pointing to something far greater than the materialistic world that we once believed to be the basis of our existence. Not only is it disproving our original perception of space and time, but it is opening the doors to the possibility of time travel, telepathy, and consciousness creating…

via How Quantum Mechanics Is Changing Everything We Know About Our Lives — Collective Evolution

For Your Viewing Pleasure

In the search for enlightening information, here is an awesome list of expansive documentaries from a few different websites. 1. Home (2009) 2. Thrive (2011) 3. Paradise or Oblivion (2012) 4. Love, Reality and the Time of Transition (2011) 5. Earthlings (2005) 6. Everything You Know Is Wrong (2000) 7. Fluoride: The Hard to Swallow Truth 8. Zeitgeist: Moving Forward (2011) 9. The Collective Evolution…

via 150 Documentaries To Expand Your Consciousness! — Collective-Evolution

Cannabis And Sleep

Researchers are now trying to understand how cannabis affects your brain during sleep in order to take care of affections such as deep sleep deprivation and insomnia. Now more than ever, people display a deeper sense of awareness by making choices that cross the mental barriers imposed by the propaganda of last decades. Cannabis was…

via Pros and Cons of Cannabis’ Effect on Sleep — EWAO

Independence Day


Today is July 4 – Independence Day  – A holiday time for fireworks, hot dogs and family fun. A day to celebrate our country’s freedom and independence from England . . . but today, in the real world, that bell has a decidedly hollow ring to it. I know there are quite a few who believe that we are still free and independent, and in a way I feel envious of them, but in my opinion the evidence on the ground proves otherwise.

 Of course we all know freedom and independence must be balanced by the rule of law and varies from time to time in a nation’s evolution. Balance is necessary, or else we would have chaos in the streets, but since at least 911 I find the freedom bell no longer ringing quite as loud as it once did . . . and in my opinion, it’s out of balance and getting dimmer by the day.

 I sometimes attempt to find out why, but in a country that lives on spin and downright lies it’s damn near impossible to know the real reason for anything anymore. Are we really so afraid of a ragtag group of terrorists to the point that we are willing to give up all the hard fought for freedoms that we once enjoyed in this country? Take a look around, free yourself from political correctness, party affiliation, and religious prejudice. Open your eyes. What do you see?

 Here’s what I see going on since the towers fell.  Actually since the Kennedy assassination forward, but . . .

 I won’t openly place blame anywhere as to who, what, where, when and why the three buildings fell. I will say that regardless as to whether elements of this government had anything to do with the downing, they most certainly have used the occasion to promote an agenda based on tightening their grasp on ‘we the people’ at home and hegemony abroad.

 The corporate/banking state has raised it’s ugly head over Washington full view in a silent coup that most are still blinded to. As we lock ourselves in media entertainment and political bullshit, one freedom after another collapses before us.

 Today is freedom and independence day. This year we are going to elect a new president. We will all line up and cast our vote believing we are doing our patriotic duty. (and even judge those who don’t) We will vote for one of the two clowns running for the office and pat ourselves on the back for doing so . . . . Hillary, the chosen spokesperson for the ‘corporate/banking/wall street’ party. Trump, the wealthy, thin skinned flamboyant snake oil salesman running for the ‘inflated ego’ party.

 Oh boy! Are you telling me that in a nation filled with intelligent, caring and self sacrificing individuals that this is the best we can do? Have fun kiddies, I ain’t voting, nor am I believing any of the ‘fear factor on crack’ information coming down the pike from our so called media these days.

 Anybody who can think knows that for a terrorist movement to really get started in this country, our security forces would have to be asleep at the wheel. They don’t need to take away any of our freedoms in order to defend us. They don’t need to sneaky Pete through our emails and overly monitor our online presence. We don’t need to become a police state in order to protect ourselves.  More laws? How many laws does it take? We DO need to wake up to the realities on the ground and fucking DEAL with it.


Quantum Mechanics . . . the illusion of reality

The Role of Consciousness in Quantum Mechanics

What does it mean that our physical material reality isn’t really physical at all? It could mean a number of things, and concepts such as this cannot be explored if scientists remain within the boundaries of the only perceived world existing, the world we see. As Nikola Tesla supposedly said:

“The day science begins to study non-physical phenomena, it will make more progress in one decade than in all the previous centuries of its existence.” 

Fortunately, many scientists have already taken the leap, and have already questioned the meaning and implications of what we’ve discovered with quantum physics. One of these potential revelations is that “the observer creates the reality.”

A fundamental conclusion of the new physics also acknowledges that the observer creates the reality. As observers, we are personally involved with the creation of our own reality. Physicists are being forced to admit that the universe is a “mental” construction. Pioneering physicist Sir James Jeans wrote: “The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter, we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter. (R. C. Henry, “The Mental Universe”; Nature 436:29, 2005)

One great example that illustrates the role of consciousness within the physical material world (which we know not to be so physical) is the double slit experiment. This experiment has been used multiple times to explore the role of consciousness in shaping the nature of physical reality. (2)

A double-slit optical system was used to test the possible role of consciousness in the collapse of the quantum wave-function. The ratio of the interference pattern’s double-slit spectral power to its single-slit spectral power was predicted to decrease when attention was focused toward the double-slit as compared to away from it. The study found that factors associated with consciousness, such as meditation, experience, electrocortical markers of focused attention and psychological factors such as openness and absorption, significantly correlated in predicted ways with perturbations in the double-slit interference pattern.(2) (exert from a longer article byArjun Walia)


Why You Don’t Need To Change The World

Let’s say you’ve found a new sense of awareness or elevated consciousness — suddenly you feel connected to the beauty of the world, you understand yourself better, and you’re filled with a drive to become better, to nurture yourself and the world around you. But when you take a look at the world with your…

via Why You Don’t Need To Change The World — Collective-Evolution

In 2016, George Carlin’s Political Nihilism Is Becoming the Only Sensible Opinion – Splitsider

ineptocracySponsored by TodayTix — last minute theater and comedy tickets at the best prices right on your phone. It seemed a great injustice to me, in the months following George Carlin’s death in 2008, that the legendary comedian wasn’t around to see his country elect its first black president. As time wore on, I realized […]

Source: In 2016, George Carlin’s Political Nihilism Is Becoming the Only Sensible Opinion – Splitsider


This link is obviously a female talking, but I think the same thing applies for us men too . . . especially after we have grown old.

In my life I have had many friends of both sexes . . . from my childhood in the housing project, to the military, to the hippy days, to my many years of wandering and wondering, to today where I have few friends at all.

Today I am an old man who spends most of his time alone. If it weren’t for my wife there would be little contact with humanity at all . . . sad I suppose to some, but not so sad to me. People fear getting old and irrelevant like they fear the plague. But I have to say, “Man, I am digging it.” Today I feel more in touch, more connected to the circle of life than ever before.

My friends are still with me, as are my few enemies, but they now live in memory and dreams of past experience . . . and love? . . . well, when love was an emotional experience for me I gave or withheld it at will. It wasn’t until lately, when I found myself alone, that I began to see and to realize that love is not only an emotion, but it is also a state of being. The deeper experience hides from view when constantly being focused by emotion, and only comes to life when one steps back into quiet reflection and gives it the freedom it needs to spread across the entire spectrum of life. This view is a very beautiful place, but can only be experienced out of earshot of the constant babbling of men . . .

And hey, what the hell, if I still need a little bit of emotion I have four dogs, two cats, a wonderful wife, a healthy life, and a whole woods full of critters and creatures surrounding me to bestow my love upon.

So sometime when you’re driving by the old man sitting all alone on his porch staring off into oblivion and you begin to feel sorry for him . . . don’t . . . some of us have actually found what we have been mad dashing across the planet all those years looking for.


What does it truly mean to miss someone? And why do we miss them? Was it their smile? The drama they brought into your life? Or some other, indefinable quality? I think what it really boils down to is the way they made us feel. Emotions are not only integral to the human experience, they…

via Why I Said Goodbye To An Old Friend & Never Looked Back — Collective-Evolution


HAPPINESS-IS-A-WARM-GUN225As men lost their ability and strength to fight with their fists they picked up a weapon to use as an equalizer . . . I noticed that in the projects growing up. We had a completely different pecking order based solely on hands, speed, balance or size. No guns/clubs etc.

Today? Them days are long gone and so should be the silly notion of getting rid of the guns.

It’s the catch 22 of Pandora’s box . . . the lid has been raised across the world as arms got bigger and badder and more effective and that lid ain’t about to close.

Laws won’t change anything but hurt us regular folks because the bad guys as well as the supposedly good guy arms dealers (of which the US rules and who’s economy is based upon) who run this world aren’t about to kill their cash cow.

We can postulate and choose sides in the endless argument if we want . . . but nothing will change for ‘we the people’ for the better. Actually our only viable defense these days IS a gun.

Love them or hate them guns and drugs are the sexual gratification of this new age of unenlightenment  that we are living in and though they are heatedly debated and laws are created and ultimately broken adinfanausium, as long as fear rules the hearts of men . . . we are just pissing in the wind.  . . . .

HA! I can here the gods laughing at us all the way from Olympus.

How in the hell can we live under a govt. that has no problem with carpet bombing or drone ing the shit out of stuff on one hand while pissing and moaning about long guns and hand guns on the other? I can’t really buy any of it. I long for the old days in the project when we were dumb enough to get off by just busting someone’s nose.